Remember when I said bring it on, bitch to 2020? This is not what I meant. I don’t even know how to begin writing anything at all. I guess that’s why I haven’t. Also, depression is a thing. I begin to articulate my thoughts and then I feel overwhelmed by all the things I … Continue reading 3 things I feel about august…
Category: Uncategorized
Two Weeks Later
Two weeks later and I feel trapped in reality. I keep thinking about that time last summer when I saw the world was crooked and I keep wondering is it still? Or was that an off kilter moment on borrowed time? Or was it, an indication of times to come? Or was it... I find … Continue reading Two Weeks Later
Two Weeks Ago
Two weeks ago, I asked on my Instagram, what should I write about next? The options were change and forgiveness. Change won. Two weeks ago, I had put in my notice at the grocery store I have worked at for the last year and a half. I was excited to begin a new chapter, to … Continue reading Two Weeks Ago
hi 2020
I'm not sure how to begin or rather, where I should begin. I keep listening to my 2019 Spotify playlist that replays the soundtrack to my highs and lows of the entire year. I can look through my Instagram and see a catalog of my best moments. I can read through my public and private journals and … Continue reading hi 2020
bad self portraits
Allow me, if you can, a moment to be a bit.... dramatic. I have been profoundly sad for roughly 2 weeks. I want to cry all the time and I feel like I'm pretending to be someone else when I'm not crying. I want to avoid being alone at all costs and drink alcohol. Then … Continue reading bad self portraits
(anti)Acid
I'm aching in the anticipation of your lingering kisses that I want to save the feeling of. And I hate, that I can't remove you from all the space that's used to keep records of all the lines on your face. I keep writing about you because I'm trying to find the right words that … Continue reading (anti)Acid
starting 30
I live in dichotomies and reflect on the mile stone of reaching another decade around the sun. I feel old and then I don't feel old enough. I listen to jazz like a good intellectual and say things like Miles is so existential and I want to punch myself in the face when those words vomit … Continue reading starting 30
validation
I joined a dating site (again) because I'm bored and a masochist, apparently. This morning I had the pleasure of speaking with Drew. Drew asked me a couple questions about the software engineering degree I'm pursuing, whether or not I was at work and who this man is in one of the Instagram pictures on … Continue reading validation
signs
I think a lot about this sign, I saw in a coffee shop. And I think about that coffee shop and how everyone inside looked like a social media influencer but seemed to lack anything genuine and I know, I'm being judgmental about people I don't know and a place I went to once but … Continue reading signs
dating
I like dating because I like pretending I'm the person I wish I was. I like to see how long I can keep the facade before I crack under my self imposed perfection. I like playing a role of the charming curvaceous redhead with electric eyes and musical laughs. I like to think my social … Continue reading dating
