first love

I saw you
from a distance,
you were lost in thought.

a familiar feeling
rose in my stomach
as I recalled the
first time you kissed me,
in the shade,
along the banks
of a lazy river,
on a midwest summer afternoon.

I recalled the beautiful
blue eyes
with the long lashes
that lit up
the moment you whispered
I love you
for the first time.

I stood up to say hello
but then…
tiny hands
reached for you
and they called you “daddy”
and those eyes lit up again.

I noticed
the smiling woman beside you
who gave you
the life you wanted
and that I would never give.

I sat back down.
I was happy for you
but I never stopped,
thinking of you
…loving you.

Forgive me, first love
for the ignorance of my youth.
I never knew
that you were amazing.

I haven’t love again
like I had you.

I lament,
recalling all the firsts
I had with you
and all the ways
I was completely wrong for you.

But you have
all that you wanted
and I hope
it’s as amazing
as you are.

I hope she loves you
as I never could
and maybe sometimes,
when you pass the park,
along the lazy river
you think of me.

Not a true daily thought today. I wrote this about a month ago. Still, I hope you enjoy it. Until tomorrow, friends!