titanic trauma

Well, I’m three days in and I’m already like idk what to write about. I guess that’s kind of the point of this exercise, to write even when I feel like there’s nothing to say or when I’m unmotivated to do it.

Titanic is on (again) but I don’t care. It’s still one of my favorite movies (also Leo). I was 8 when this movie came out in theaters. I remember there was a couple kids in my school trying to say they had the “real” Heart of the Ocean necklace and would wear it to school. We believed them because we were 8 but the actual necklace is like $250 mil. so probably those kids were liars. It’s the only Celine Dion album I’ve ever owned. In the library of my elementary school, they had a whole table full of books about the Titanic with pictures of things they had recovered from the wreckage and all kinds of facts about the ship. I was obsessed with Titanic and honestly never really got over it.

I’ve been fascinated with ships and boats ever since this movie came out. It’s on my bucket list to take a ship somewhere but I want to be a part of the crew. Not on a cruise ship and I don’t want to be housekeeping or anything like that. I want to help sail it across the ocean and witness the ocean in all its untamed power. I think in past life, I was a sailor. I don’t know if that’s anything that can actually happen but I’m going to try.

It’s the scene where the ship is about halfway underwater, right after the band stops playing. The Captain dies after locking himself in the bridge and windows are shattered from the strength of the Atlantic crashing in. The grand hall in the ship with the glass roof is flooded and panic ensues. I can’t image horror like that.

My favorite scene is when the water crashes through the glass roof of the grand hall, and the stern lifts up as people cling to their last hope at life. Imagine being in the middle of the Atlantic ocean on a sinking ship and there’s no one around to help you. Who knows if help is even on the way. The lights on the ship are going out and the only light left is from the stars. If you survived the sinking, you’re left in a frozen ocean if you didn’t make it to a lifeboat. Worse yet, you could be in a lifeboat watching the ship sink, hearing those poor people scream, watching them struggle in the freezing water and the boat cracking in half. Maybe you knew if your loved ones were safe but maybe you didn’t. Then, when the one lifeboat went back, they’re met with a sea of frozen bodies. The survivors were saved by the Carpathia about 4 hours after the Titanic sent a distress signal.

It’s a privilege to not have had to deal with any serious trauma like that in my life. I think it’s a pretty human thing to sort of wallow in a little self-pity on occasion. It’s important, however, to have the perspective that life isn’t as bad as it could be. That’s not to say some people do have pretty terrible lives and I don’t mean to disregard that. I suppose I mean more like myself. I have tragedy in my life, but comparably it’s been pretty decent run so far.

Anyway, those are the thoughts I have for today. Until tomorrow friends!

I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.


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